ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
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All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
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this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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