You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
