she woke up with a sticky ear
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
