i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
