I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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