So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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