I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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