If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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