and my herpes radar will keep us safe
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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