her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
