My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
