I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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