Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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