You just made me feel so damn special
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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