my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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