i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
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