Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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