Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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