Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
