no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
