Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
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I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
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And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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