how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
