He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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