I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
