The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
