i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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