In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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