i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
