i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
