Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
