Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
they're like a gay fantastic four
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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