I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
