the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
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