just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I think my nap took me to another dimension
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