What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
