exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
