Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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