yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
