I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
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