My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
please come you make the beer taste better
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
