Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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