Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I would fuck him just for his dog
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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