My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
