Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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