i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
