So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
