so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
