We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
