you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
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Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
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I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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