whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
