yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
