And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
