I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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