We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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