We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
