my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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