she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Randomize
