why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
